Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
