Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Duck Duck Cougar?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
