All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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