1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
