if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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