I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
