wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
