to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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