Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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