Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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