Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
