actually, I'm a sock model
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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