Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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