So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
