I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
