I wish I only lived at night.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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