Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
