My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
