ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
