I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
