Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
