i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
