Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
