I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
