I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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