I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
