Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
