DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
