he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
