im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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