im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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