Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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