I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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