I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
