Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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