So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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