Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
