She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
