Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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