thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize