You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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