i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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