You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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