Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
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I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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