it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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