I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
