Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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