so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
