someone owes me an orgasm
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
