My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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