guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
