make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
