ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize