Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
