HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
