Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
