didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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