"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
