Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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