i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
