I have demons in me.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
