You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
