Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That accounts for only three of the penises
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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