I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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