oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
